Another day at the Bloated Tick

Sitting around, chatting with the grand poobah of the BT listening to her counting the minutes till it's "sweet air" time is just another day for us here at the tick. Oh, and for those of you not sure what grand poobah means:

"Poobah is a title of respect and often is linked to might in a role."

After hearing me rave numerous times about my new favorite running trail (pardon the "run" word), grand master poobah decided to take it on. Going along are The Ghost and JFlats.

Several hours go by and I could swear Grand Poobah and JFlats kidnap my guy. It was dark when they returned.

Now it wasn't so much the hour they returned but waiting to hear the reviews of my favorite trail was driving me nuts. Finally, headlights come streaming down Bloated Tick Drive.

There's good news and bad news to report.

Good news - they soldiered through albeit fresh new wounds oozing with blood.

Bad news - I have a new name. "DAMN YOU CABS".

Oops.

Calling ALL Sponsors

Sunday with the Family. Bloated tick style. No BBQ, no horrible trip to some awful family fun park or even worse, DISNEY. Just a perfect day in the woods with Mo. 30 Mile MTB out and back to Cranberry Hole Road. It was Mo's first epic ride. A perfect day to get super sweaty, dirty and covered in bug bites teetering just on the edge of puking. My dream day ! We were out for a total of 4hours trying to get some time in the saddle in preparation for the VT50 at the end of September.

On the way back - just inside of 7miles to go and I was kicked. It took every ounce of mind over matter to make it up the smallest incline. I was just about to collapse when a flash of pink caught my eye through the scrub oaks. I knew it could only be the be the one and only Yummy Berger!!! Yes! Just what I needed to motivate the rest of the way. They were on their way out and like two sailors passing in the night we exchanged casual profanities and words of encouragement and went on our way - recharged and ready to book it back to the house. (you roadies out there could learn from this)

It felt so right coming home completely wiped out for a relaxing Sunday afternoon. Mo made some mushroom risotto and I scarfed down a vegetarian pizza and we relaxed into a food coma. Finishing out the day with a beer on the beach just reaffirmed the perfection of family day!

This we could get used to....

We Proudly announce: The Bloated Tick is now accepting applications for Corporate Sponsorship! Yes~!! We are a small grass roots MTB team. We race twice a year and are often in the back of the pack. This leaves a ton of time to promote our sponsors, on Facebook, twitter and various other media. We will even fly to foreign countries to promote your business (Italy). No company is too small. The one requirement is that you do no evil...meaning, no oil companies, oil support, tobacco, or any giant food company: that's you KRAFT, TYSON and the Evil McDonald's. Oh and of course, we will not be sponsored by Monsanto - the ultimate in EVIL.



So who then, will we encourage to foot our bills in exchange for promotion?
Lizard Skins, Lara Bar, Layne Bryant, Green Vibrance, Google - we are looking at you big boys!

If you are interested in having the Bloated Tick work for YOU, please post a comment with your information and we will be in touch.

WHAT HAVE I DONE.......................

Heart racing, nervous, shaking, worried and on the verge of tears (ok not so much on the verge but full blown tears) . Dropping off Brian at the shop for repair leaves me in a state of panic!
I can only guess that this is how people with children feel when they have a sick child.
Not only is Brian at the hospital but he is with a Doctor I do not trust.

Because of the state of the traffic and time constraints I was forced to use a shop that I do not like. It is convenient but I have always had bad feelings about the place. Last time I had a tune up they gave me the bike back with a flat tire. Today, I sucked it up and thought with a fresh attitude it could be a good experience. Oh how wrong I was.
The man who took my info and looked at Brian was so rude he actually berated me for not buying the bike from them. I told him that I really needed my bike back for training tomorrow (I'm sure he hears that from every Tool that shows up in the summer). He basically said I'd get it back when I got it back. I understand being fed up with people in the summer but, if you work in retail....guess what.....it pays not to be an ASS. I felt like screaming at the jerk - "I am a local" "I actually ride every day - can't you tell by the broken chain worn grips and mud?" "This is why I NEVER FUCKING shop here!!!"

So angry and tearing up, I reluctantly left my beloved Brian in the hands of a man that I now HATE in a store that I never shop at. Mo insisted that I go back in and rescue Brian from a fate unknown. But I couldn't. I knew that screaming, crying and taking my one bike repair out of there would have no effect on the shop's attitude toward me nor would it improve the skills of the mechanics in the shop.

Here's to hoping Brian comes home in one piece and before the VT50.

SUMO HELLO!

I used to think that there were two types of people, those who think Family Guy and the Simpsons are the best shows ever and those who don't get either of them. Now I realize that there is one more type of person.......the Roadie! Actually I believe that the "Roadie" probably falls into the the "not getting and or appreciating Family Guy and the Simpsons" category. I guess that this is an entire sub category of people....the ooooh so serious self important people.

Before I go deeper into this, a little disclaimer so not as to offend my athlete friends who actually compete on the road and are kind, reasonable people with great senses of humor....this is not about you guys...because you guys ROCK!

This is an ode to the phantom hello. It hangs in the air like an awkward pause. However rarely I am on the road...usually when going from trail to trail (the road scares the crap out of me. Kudos to those of you who take on the cars and asphalt daily) I always say hello and wave to fellow cyclists and pedestrians often giving them a salute with the awesome Sumo Horn.

I don't expect much in return, perhaps a quick wave of the hand...or a short "hi". But 97% of the time these weekend warriors, wanna be Saxo Bank noodleheads look up for a glance - take in the sight of my awesome 29r, super Sumo Horn, lack of cellulite hugging spandex and quickly avert their eyes pretending I am invisible. Not cool! I know I'm hardly invisible!

Such a different breed than the MTBrs we pass. Every time I pass a fellow sweet air getter in the woods or on the road there is always an exchange. Usually it goes like this: "hi, great day huh!" or there is a longer conversation about the trails and where the good ones are. Overall there is a general sense of community and care for one another within the MTB community.

I also care about the road riding community, I have been glued to the Tour for the past 2.5 weeks learning all I can about the road. I have great respect for these super athletes pushing way beyond the pain threshold to pull a team member to the summit of giant mountains.

Lets be honest, these non waiving, silent, spandex clad, $15,000 bike riding roadies are not ignoring me because they have ridden 150 miles and are climbing to the top of the Col du Tourmalet so focused on the finish line that they are blind to all around them. No. Not even close. Usually I am passing them at 12mph on my big grippy tires. They are silent and averting their eyes because they think they are better than me and that to wave or say hello would be beneath them. Or perhaps they are jealous. They could never rock a giant sumo horn - too much wind resistance.

Bottom line...if you're not having fun why do it? Saying hi or a quick wave will not cost you the yellow jersey ....it might even make you smile. Life is not that serious and if you think it is, might I suggest watching some Family Guy or starting a tickle fight. It might just lower your blood pressure and save you from a heart attack!
Sumo OUT!

Its official! The TEAM is back!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

or

JESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS - as some may say.

Its on! Jflats has been cleared for take off! She has fucked Cancer over the fence or as we sometimes say - hummed it at the wall! Boooyah! Let the training begin!

I have stopped counting the days till VT50 - I know it looms close but who cares, my wingman is back!

Now the pain begins. Humid, buggy, sweaty, hot and sticky - perfect conditions to drop that 85 pounds of pre-race weight!

We have found the most perfect supplement to MTB. Its a horrible punishment that was suggested oh so benignly by my beloved and R. Cabs. It goes by the name of TRX. Sounds very modern and oh so 2010ish...but beware this is some medieval shit!

As I took my place in front of some kind of trapeze circus apparatus with my fellow sufferers, it became clear, I knew not what commeth. Our super spunky leader was cut like a diamond and with a smile on her face unleashed the pain. TRX is the gift that keeps giving. Two days later the stiffness follows me like a hungry dog.

So this Tick will be getting tortured weekly with high hopes that with every mangled plank position and twinge in the haunch that every pedal stroke in VT will be that much easier...

Woo Hoo!

Welcome Back JFlats! Let the Pain Begin!

Ticks in Training

A lofty goal has been set....THE VERMONT 50!!

Having never done a race or ride of this caliber, this Tick is Skerrred! I've been told many different things...."You'll love it. There is sooo much downhill!!! Er...a lot of climbing too"
"You'll be fine, you ride a lot" "Do hill repeats" "Use your heart rate" "add in running" "Keep doing long rides" "Don't forget to taper" "Drink more beer" "What about one of those discreet motors hidden in the frame?"
Soy vey! Sooo much information.
I started out wild with enthusiasm...Big sign on the chalkboard with a "days 'till" countdown. Now, only 12 days in, I'm loosing my mojo. Could be the heat. Could be missing my fellow tick who is home resting after surgery. Could be distress over my weight. Or could be my inner rebel saying I don't want to HAVE to ride! URGH!!!
Today, I'm just going to ride for me. Stop when I want and take in the vistas and not think about a thing. Just chill out.
112 days left.. Its all about the Journey....And the after ride beer.

See you at the Bloated Tick....................

Goin' Huntin'

I know you. I can smell your type. The rebel. The "who gives a fuck" attitude. Yeah, I know you. Hunting you will be easy. You leave big tracks and lots of evidence. I see where you go and where you come from.

You are loud, callous and dangerous. I can appreciate that you are a dying breed. I understand that you feel as if we have taken what is yours. But what you don't remember is that you are in the wrong. You are illegal as soon as your tire hits the trail. And now you have pissed me off.

Menacing and threatening a group of ladies on the side of the road....and then assaulting my friend later in the trails. I. Don't. Think. So!

There are places for you to ride. Unfortunately they are not here. The woods here are protected. The next time you see me I will not move, I will be in your way and you will have limited options. You can hit a tree or me. There are a lot more of me than there are you.

So, yes. Today I'm goin' huntin' - looking for you. I'm not scared because you are a coward.